Zombies Holiday Special
by 115SecretsToUnveil
Summary: 3rd chap. - Mother's Day - is out! This is where all of my parody holiday stories for COD: Zombies are, containing anything to do with the Zombies universe. I promise most will have you guffawing in tears! Releases will happen on each new holiday, and are in honor of that holiday! Summaries of each story will be inside with that corresponding chapter! Rated T for language, blood.
1. April Fool's Day at Der Riese

April Fool's Day is here!...here's a little celebration of mine!

Here it is!

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_**Summary - This April Fool's Day at Der Riese Waffenfabrik, Richtofen plots his revenge on his old nemesis, Ludwig Maxis, by...giving him a skunk? OH YES! That, and so much more! Maxis is in for a shower of shame this April Fool's Day when all of Der Riese is about to be turned upside-down with Edward's insane antics!**_

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**Chapter 1. April Fool's Day at Der Riese!**

_**Name: Der Riese, Waffenfabrik.**_

_**Location: Outskirts of Breslau.**_

_**Date: Tuesday, April 1st, 1945.**_

_** Time: 5:11 A.M.**_

Maxis sat down at his desk with his usual cup of black coffee, staring at the box that had been waiting there for him. When it had arrived he wasn't sure what it was, but he was curious as to what was inside. He sipped at his mug, tired.

The box suddenly moved, making the man jump in surprise. He sloshed scalding black liquid from his cup over his hand. He cursed at the pain. He felt sudden frustration at how it had surprised him, the desire to see what lay within overcame him and he sat down his mug. He would soon regret wanting to find out what was within the box. Quickly, he grabbed the shuddering box and worked on untangling the cardboard. With a quick jerk and a tug, he succeeded in opening the lid!

He was assaulted with a green spray.

"Aghhh! Vhat zhe hell!?" Maxis cried in alarm.

Outside Richtofen stood in the shadows of the predawn light, grinning from ear to ear as he heard a scream of surprise from the room. A horrible stench wafted outside.

Because inside the room, the box had revealed the terrible prank. Inside had been a highly agitated skunk, ready to unload its wonderful chemicals on the next person it laid eyes on.

Richtofen slunk away into darkness, rubbing his hands together and cackling happily.

* * *

_**9:35 A.M.**_

It was a beautiful day at Der Riese, the sun shining down brightly. The steel walls glinted in the brilliant light, and the warm breeze warranted a good mood. Everyone was supposed to be occupied with work on the scientific breakthroughs and element 115. Supposed to be. Unfortunately, it was April Fool's day at the factory and few were paying any mind to their work.

Those who did were diehards and those who weren't...well let's just say they were too busy with...other things. Like trying to stay upwind of Dr. Maxis.

Least of all involved in his work was Dr. Edward Richtofen. Finally, he would have his total and complete revenge on Dr. Maxis...through pranking! He was pleased that he had already started.

What better way, after all, than to amuse everyone but the victim, bringing great shame and humiliation to them. It was perfect. The only problem was executing his plans, and watching out for Maxis at the same time.

He was striding down a long hallway past the animal testing laboratory where he'd just exited. Intent on what was going to happen today. His ingenius mind going through multiple schemes that he'd get away with. Chuckling to himself now and again. He rounded a corner and came face-to-face with...Dr. Harvey Yena.

Richtofen smiled, saying, "Ah, Dr. Yena, I'm so pleased to meet you here. I'm in need of your assistance!"

The Hyena eyed the psychopath wearily, uncertain and not amused, finally he sighed. "What do you want, Edward?"

"Vell, Maxis has not left his room for avhile now, und I need to speak vizh him about zhe DG 2...could you check on him?"

"Yeah, whatever." Harvey said and walked off.

Richtofen stared after him for a moment. "Zhis is going to be a vunderbar day indeed!" He mumbled to himself.

* * *

_**10:15 A.M.**_

"Zhat rat Edward vill pay!" Maxis yelled as he exited the bathrooms, fully dressed and mostly cleaned up. After he'd been sprayed by the skunk, it had got loose and wreaked havoc on his office, scattering important papers and leaving a giant mess. It had taken the better part of the morning to tidy up his office, take care of the skunk, and then attend to his own hygiene. His smell was terrible though. He smelt of tomato juice and skunk.

Sophia walked around the corner, nose wrinkled in disgust since she had already caught scent of what was up ahead. Dr. Yena was following her, a similar expression on his face. They caught sight of Maxis, who looked thoroughly embarrassed.

"We came looking for you! Dr. Richtofen said you'd be here!" Sophia announced.

"Yes, and he is going to pay dearly for zhis." Maxis replied, approaching the two. Sophia clasped her hand over her nose, wincing.

Dr. Yena frowned unhappily, trying to pretend that he couldn't smell the odor. "What happened?" He questioned, failing to hide his discontent, gagging.

"I'll explain...First, bring me somezhing to get rid of zhis stench!" Maxis growled, angry. They began walking down the hall, his companions subconsciously edging away from him.

Unbeknownst to Maxis, a sticker stuck to his back proclaiming; Out Of Order!

He couldn't locate his assistant, Edward, no matter who he asked, so he decided he would wait until the man emerged from whatever hole he was hiding in.

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_**3:15 P.M.**_

Dr. Richtofen walked with a slight skip in his stride as he made his way to the mainframe of Der Riese where the pack-a-punch was at. He was in a very good mood. He had been in his rooms for the better part of the day, locked in and pretending he was gone whenever someone came knocking, so he'd had plenty of time to set up more misfortunes for his nemesis.

He walked up the steps toward the pack-a-punch. He was soon messing with the control panel, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. When he was done, he sat back and waited, knowing a pissed-off Maxis would show up. Because his messing with the Pack-a-Punch was a signal to Ludwig that he was up, about, and easy to find.

Indeed, Maxis did show up. A very angry Maxis. "Dammit Edward! I've been looking for you since lunch! Vhat are you doing?!" He snapped as he walked up to Edward.

Richtofen wrinkled his nose at the failed attempt to cover the skunk stench. He said innocently, "Vorking on zhe pack-a-punch machine, of course!"

"I need to speak vizh you about zhe package from zhis morning."

"Ahh, zhe newly element-tested skunk, ready for deployment in France." Richtofen's face was dead serious even as he made the joke.

"Don't lie Edward." Maxis growled, patience thin.

Edward sighed, then relented. "Zhat box vas zhe new skunk ve had tested on vizh zhe element. Didn't you say zhat you vanted updates?" He gave an angelic smile.

"JA, BUT NOT DANGEROUS VONES!" Yelled Maxis, drawing attention from nearby scientists, who took notice of the sticker on his back. They began pointing and snorting. Coughing and choking into their hands when Dr. Maxis glanced back at them.

"All in zhe name of science, meine freund!" The insane doctor beamed brighter than a sunray as the head-scientist turned his attention back to him.

Maxis was about to speak, when a man came up behind him and said, "Zhe mainframe has had a...breakdown..." He trailed off, staring at the sticker.

"Vhat?" Maxis asked, glancing over at the man absently.

"Zhe mainframe zhere's an...out-of-order sticker on it!" He said, still staring at the sticker, entranced.

"Out of order? Since vhen?" Maxis said, finally turning around and breaking the man's line-of-sight with the sticker that had so infatuated him. Maxis still had no idea that it was there.

"Since...I'm...oh...ahahaha!" The worker burst into a fit of laughter, doubling over with tears streaming down his face.

Maxis looked confused, glancing at the other scientist there, and Edward shrugged, pulling his most benevolent look.

"Vhat's so funny?!" Maxis demanded, frowning.

The man guffawed, turning away and stumbling off like a drunk.

"Okay zhen, I vill have to have someone figure out vhat's going on vizh zhe mainframe. I'm not zhrough speaking vizh you, zhough." He said to Edward and left, shaking his head in confusion.

Richtofen's face broke out into a grin and he too exited the area after several minutes had passed. He walked onward, for he'd planned a meeting with someone and he was anxious to get there.

Not long after, Richtofen met up with Dr. Schuster in the auto-garage.

He whispered, "Schuster, here are zhe directions for today. Carry zhem out promptly and discreetly. Only get help from zhose who vant to show Maxis up!"

"Hehe...Yes, it vill be done!" Schuster grinned eagerly.

Not long after, more schemes were taking place. The cages in the animal testing lab had all been opened up!

* * *

_**5:11 P.M.**_

Samantha sat on a chair, petting her dog Fluffy occasionally and playing with a couple of dolls.

Richtofen walked in and smiled. "Samanzha, your fazher vanted you in his office..."

"Really!?" She said, excited. Maxis never let her in there.

"Ja, it's urgent." He said, feigning worry.

"I vill go right avay!" She jumped up and ran up the stairs, Fluffy following.

"Zhis just gets better und better...Vunderbar!" Muttered the Nazi, walking back the way he'd come.

* * *

In Maxis's office, intense, quiet, concentration was going on. He was in pure silence, his entire attention devoted to the screen before him. He sat at his office chair, staring at a monitor, his face annoyed. He was trying to discover the problem with the mainframe.

Suddenly, he jumped as a picture of a large zombie face popped up on the screen just as the not-a-drill alarm went off throughout the factory.

"Meine Gott!" He cried in surprise at the sudden interruption to the silence and peace, gaping at the zombie picture. Just then, Samantha walked in.

"Daddy, what are you doing?" She seemed oblivious as a rock to the alarm.

Maxis finally noticed that his daughter had entered his office...a big no-no. He started, "VERDAMMT SA-"

The intercom blared, drowning Maxis out. "Varning, zhe shield is now active...report to zhe barracks immediately...zhis is not a drill! Repeat. Zhis is not a drill!"

"Daddy!" Said Samantha, taking full notice of the alarm now. "I-I'm scared!" She complained, sprinting towards him as he moved away from his desk.

He tripped as she grabbed his knees, staggered, toppled and crashed to the floor. The girl stared at him in surprise, confused but giggling. He slowly collected himself and came to his feet, face twisted, maintaining a forced silence.

Samantha wasn't even affected by the fall in a way that young kids should be. They should be worried, right? She wasn't! She began laughing all-out, affected in an entirely different way.

"You got a sticker on your back." She informed, pulling it off.

Doctor Ludwig Maxis came to his knees, slowly standing up. He straightened to his full height, towering over his daughter, face in shadow. He slowly bent and picked her up, walking out of his office and taking the sticker from her. He felt more anger when he saw the 'Out Of Order' on it and realized why the man earlier had been laughing. Someone was pranking him and he wondered just what the hell was going on exactly now. No one had informed him of an emergency. He gritted his teeth, wishing he could figure out the cause of the insanity. He dropped the sticker on the floor.

People were everywhere! Dodging around them became something of a chore. Finally, after a full five minutes of everyone dashing about, gathering things and preparing for the worse, Richtofen's voice came over the intercom.

"April Fool's you FOOLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He laughed hysterically, followed by the sound of the intercom phone slamming down.

"He's going to pay for zhis..." Snarled Maxis, knowing now who was at fault for his bad day, what his first problem was. He sat his daughter down on the ground with Fluffy bounding up to her.

"Go on, Dear...Daddy's got business." His face was set in determination.

"Zhat's no fair! You promised me candy!" She pouted, glaring.

"Nein, I did not!" Maxis countered, silently acknowledging his second problem in defeat.

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"DID TO. NOW GIVE ME ZHE CANDY OR I'LL TELL UNCLE EDWARD ABOUT YOU HANGING OUT VIZH ZHAT LADY AND NOT GIVING HIM ANYZHING IN RETURN!" She screamed, stomping her foot and drawing curious stares from nearby people.

"Fine! Little blackmailing..." He trailed off at the look on her face and hurriedly fished candy out of his pocket.

He handed it over and walked off, not saying another word, leaving the girl alone with her dog.

* * *

_**6:00 P.M.**_

Richtofen sat on the catwalk in the teleporter room, happy beyond belief, there was nothing better than utter and complete mayhem. He watched confused people hurrying around, looking uncertain at what to do...he knew that not all of them had heard the April Fool's joke, and so people were trying to convince each other whether or not there was an actual emergency.

Among the frantic people, were the animals from the lab. Some were feral, making people scream at the site of them...others not so much. The more docile creatures just seemed to be trying to stay out of the way, except for those unintentionally tripping up the traffic.

Richtofen opened a cage next to him that he'd brought along. Inside was a huge rat the size of a cat.

"Go mine little friend and steal zhat item I showed you earlier." The rat ran off, feet pattering on the concrete. Richtofen giggled maniacally. He stood up and made his way to the barracks on the far side of Der Riese, hoping some people would be there.

Richtofen walked into the barracks to find several people who had not heard the April Fool's joke and were now standing around nervously. Richtofen walked in, clapping his hands together, well pleased at the sight.

"What's going on?" An anxious man asked him. "Someone said it's a prank...but I heard that it wasn't a drill!"

The Doctor grinned, happy. "Zhis is _not_ a drill! IT IS TIME TO DANCE!" He cried, snapping his fingers.

Music blared, filling the barracks loudly, the men and women within frowned uncertainly. It was strange and somewhat insane, fast-paced music. They seemed a little worried at first. But then, slowly, it caught on, and the bored workers decided to roll with it.

All of them except Sophia, who was in the crowd. She slunk away, knowing who she needed to tattle to.

A full hour later, almost every scientist, worker and soldier were at the barracks and dancing like crazed donkeys. Richtofen was standing at a desk, passing out Speed Cola drinks to help along the insanity. Then, he joined in, leading a two-step dance. They all spun and frolicked, loosing themselves in the moment as flashing lights filled the room along with insane laughter.

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_**8:00 P.M.**_

Maxis and two soldiers roamed an apparently deserted Der Riese, a little worried as to why it seemed so empty. Maxis looked formidable, his face full of hate. On his trip, he discovered the empty animal testing laboratory completely trashed. He found some loose animals there as well.

"Get your men to round them up." Maxis ordered the soldiers, pointing at the loose animals. "Any animal you spot is to be captured and brought back here."

The men stared in disbelief at all of the empty cages, knowing the mountainous task sat before them.

"Vell, vhat are you vaiting for!" Maxis snapped.

They began luring the nearby loose animals back into their cages with much difficulty. They only managed to get one back in in about fifteen minutes. Maxis hissed impatiently, but said nothing.

One of the men looked up from his task a short time later, he was on the far side of the room.

"Sir, there appears to be music coming from near the barracks." The soldier said, standing by a window, his face in shadow.

Maxis walked over until he heard the music, a deep throbbing beat that he was surprised he hadn't noticed until now. He was filled with fury, for he could easily guess what was happening. Just then, Sophia walked in and explained everything she'd just witnessed. Maxis was even more outraged, if that was possible.

"Come vizh me." He told them, forgetting about the animals.

They entered the barracks, the music volume increasing.

Maxis pushed his way through a crowd of dancing people, his face angry. He was very pissed, and being jostled by the people there wasn't helping. Someone even spilled green Speed Cola on him. Behind him, two guards followed, eyes upfront, trying to avoid the dancers. Together, with some difficulty, the three managed to crash the party in the barracks that had attracted so much attention from several of the locals of Breslau and Der Riese. They, the workers and locals, were now all there, partying. Having fun. How very unacceptable!

Dr. Maxis and his guards approached the man responsible for the chaos, Dr. Richtofen, who was dancing shamelessly at the front of the room. He held a green perk bottle in one hand, and in his other was a knife that he chaotically jabbed at anyone who got too close. He kicked his heels together and stomped, laughing and screeching above the music. The others seemed not to care, though.

"Arrest him for zhat false alarm and all zhis recklessness!" Yelled an angry, disheveled Maxis, pointing at the insane doctor, who stopped and stood there grinning mischievously, sipping at his drink. "Put him in a cell, I don't vant to see him for a very long time!"

Nothing happened.

He turned to find the guards chasing a large rat with glowing blue eyes through the mob. Maxis shook his head, remembering his earlier orders to capture all the loose animals, then he realized something. It was holding _his_ tape recorder in_ its_ mouth, running up the stairs! The guards tumbled over each other and several dancers in an attempt to capture the fleeing rodent.

Maxis glared at Edward like he was prepared to barbeque him.

"Looks like I'm not zhe rat, now, am I Maxis?" Edward spouted, happy and tossing his knife into a nearby wall. It jutted and swayed there.

Maxis dashed after the rat, knowing he needed that tape recorder for later. A full ten minutes later, one of the soldiers managed to nab the rat. The soldier was holding the rat, grimacing as it struggled and squealed.

"Here's your tape-recorder." He said, handing the object to Maxis.

Maxis glared, "Arrest him!" He repeated, pointing at Edward. "I don't want to see that ugly face anytime soon!"

The soldiers grabbed his arms, "Let go of zhe doctor, Schweine!" Screamed Richtofen, struggling, dropping his drink.

Maxis let off some of his fury by mocking Richtofen's voice. _"Let go of zhe doctor, Schweine!"_ He jibed in a high-pitched voice, face twisting in derision. He stuck his tongue out, making a face at his enemy.

Richtofen actually laughed, "Ah, so you make fun, ja? Gut for you, Herr Arschgesicht! You can kuss mich am Arsch!" He spewed sarcastically.

Abruptly, Maxis straightened up, furious. "Und put zhat rat down!" He snarled as the offender was dragged off.

* * *

_**11:50 P.M.**_

Dr. Maxis hit the recorder button to began his message and Sophia waited patiently. He was exhausted from this day's events and Richtofen's tricks. Thankfully, he would no longer be bothered by that fool. He started his message.

"Sophia this letter must go the the Reichstag High-Command immediately. Gentlemen...It is with the utmost urgency that I draw your attention..." He rambled on his well-rehearsed message. Little did the duo who were all business know, that a man stood in a darkened corner where no one would see him, completely unnoticed. The man pulled out a device, and flipped a couple of switches on its side.

A Gersch Device hit the floor next to the two recording the message. A black hole appeared.

Interrupting Maxis, Sophia screamed, "WHA-?!" It swallowed the two up. The man chuckeled and emerged into the light. It was Dr. Schuster. "Heh...he had no idea how few of zhe vorkers vere actually on his side." He smiled and left the room.

* * *

_**11:55 P.M.**_

"Vhere am I?" Muttered Maxis standing up, staring around the room and shaking his head, disoriented. Sophia also stood up, looking comfused.

Quickly, their befuddlement turned into horror.

They were standing on a large stage with a banner hanging above their heads. The banner said; I'M ON THE STAGE OF SHAME BECAUSE I AM A STUCK-UP FOOL AND I WAS RUDE TO THE DOCTOR.

Maxis and Sophia looked like complete fools, too, with their mouths gaped opened like shore-stranded guppies.

The Doctor stood on a chair in the crowd of cheering and laughing Der Riese workers inside the barracks, his large rat perched on his shoulder. On either side of him, was the two soldiers who had 'arrested' him, also grinning happily and high-fiving.

Dr. Richtofen screamed, "APRIL FOOL'S, MAXIS! UND YOUR EGO VILL SIMPLY CEASE TO BE! AHAHAHAHAH! ZHINK AGAIN BEFORE_ YOU MOCK THE DOC!_" He said, ending in a vicious, pleasure-filled snarl.

Even Samantha, who was at the back of the crowd perched on a windowsill, was greatly amused, smiling and chewing on some candy. "Zhat vas great!." Fluffy, who was on the floor under the window, barked in agreement with her owner.

Richtofen's revenge was complete!

Midnight finally struck, everyone(Except Sophia and Maxis) agreed that it was the best day at Der Riese in a long time!

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**The end of April Fool's...for now! **

**Translation - Earlier, Richtofen said "Ah, so you make fun, ja? Gut for you, Herr Arschgesicht! You can kuss mich am Arsch!" Translation= "Ah, so you make fun, yes? Good for you, Mister Assface! You can kiss my ass!" Haha, I couldn't resist a good old German insult!**

**Want to see more holiday fics? Then review on the next holiday you want to see made into a Zombies fanfic and I will write it!**

**I will try to do at least one a month, probably more, depending on the amount of the more popular holidays within the month...so, suggestions? Review!**


	2. Samantha's Easter Egg Hunt

This the Easter parody!

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_**Summary - The zombie-slaying crew get teleported to a whole new map when Richtofen activates the main frame teleporter in Der Riese. This map is not like any other though...it's Samantha's very own Easter themed map! This gives a whole new meaning to an Easter egg...**_

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**Samantha's Easter Egg Hunt**

The zombies howled eagerly for flesh as the four zombie-slayers were backed towards the teleporter in the mainframe. Earlier, Richtofen had revealed that it was capable of operating like a teleporter, so they had planned on using it to escape the factory.

"Dis does not rook good!" Takeo pointed out as his weapon's ammunition ran dry.

Dempsey snarled as he, too, ran out of bullets for his M16. "Shit...too many. How the fuck are we suppo-"

"I don't know 'bout you guys...but Nikolai needs one final sip of wodka!" The wasted Russian interrupted, taking a drink of his alcohol.

Dempsey glared and tried to speak again. "Fuck y-"

"Just get to zhe teleporter!" Howled Richtofen in exasperation over Dempsey and the moans of the undead.

The Marine tried once again "I d-"

"I think we have little choice now." Takeo cut in.

"FUCK!" Dempsey yelled and was swiped at by a zombie gaining on him. He shoved it back roughly with his empty weapon so that it fell on its rear, tripping zombies behind it.

The men quickly rushed up the stairs and towards the room in where the Pack-a-Punch sat. They made it inside and turned, staring at the horde coming after them. Richtofen unleashed the Wunderwaffe DG 2 he was carrying onto the zombies, electrifying their flesh and making their dead eyesockets glow blue.

He began to work at the teleporter panel quickly, cursing as he hastily worked at the coordinates, trying to get them right before more zombies came. Soon, more of the damned came towards the mainframe, mouths agape, arms outstretched, and Nazi outfits ragged and torn.

"Schiza!" Hissed Richtofen.

"Hurry up, doc!" Growled Tank as his M16 clicked uselessly on empty. Nikolai chugged even more desperately on his vodka, dropping his FN FAL to make sure he got his bottle raised all of the way into the air, wanting every drop within. His weapon probably wasn't even empty.

The growling, howling zombies reached the teleporter just as Richtofen gave a final curse, hit a button on the teleporter and the men were transported away from the weapons factory.

They blinked open their eyes where they stood, and looked around at the new room surrounding them in utter surprise.

In front of them, about five feet away, was a sign with a large rabbit and flowery writing proclaiming: _Happy Easter!_

Around them, the floor was littered with little chocolate egg candies wrapped in colorful foil. The entire room was about the size of a Der Riese teleporter room, but it looked much different. The walls were made of log-cabin siding and strewn with fancy pink and white decorations of eggs, candies, and bunnies. The ground, what was visible under the colorful, chocolate eggs, was a bluish carpet.

"What. The. Fuck?" Dempsey muttered angrily, each word punctuated in confusion. "Where the hell a-"

"Ohhh, dis must be a grand secret!" Takeo stated, smiling slightly at the décor. "Where are we, doctor?" He asked.

Dempsey cuffed the back of his head.

"Ouch! Dat hurt, ugly American!" The Samurai complained.

Richtofen didn't say a word, just walked up to the sign, face drawn in annoyance as he glared dangerously at it.

Dempsey spoke to Takeo, "That's what you get for inter-"

"I challenge zhis bunny to a staring contest." Richtofen declared as he continued to glare dangerously.

Dempsey shook his head. "Seriously? You know you can't win against it. It's a fucking s-"

"Take zhis!" Richtofen suddenly howled. He pulled out and knife and promptly stabbed the rabbit directly in its eye.

"Ahahahahaha! You blinked!" He laughed happily.

"So many colors...eh, why you stab rabbit, Richtofen? What's that sign say?" Called Nikolai, drinking yet again.

Dempsey enlightened him. "It's says _Happy Easter_ dumbass Commy, and if you'd stop chugging on that, you'd know!" Dempsey pointed at the alcohol bottle.

Nikolai completely ignored the American and bent over, straightening back out with a handful of the eggs wrapped in foil. He unwrapped one of the eggs, smiling drunkenly as he prepared to eat it.

"Wait! That might be fucking poisoned or something!" Dempsey said, he was very pissed at this point.

Nikolai shrugged at him and popped the egg into his mouth. He chewed for a moment and everyone stared at him somewhat worriedly. Well, everyone except Takeo, who had a hopeful smile on his face. The Russian swallowed and smiled.

"Is good!" He proclaimed happily. He began to eat more, laughing and saying, "Chocolate goes well with wodka, haha!"

After a moment, Richtofen couldn't resist not knowing why the Russian was so happy with the candies. He followed suit and ate a couple of eggs himself. After a moment, he laughed maniacally and began to shovel them in with glee.

Dempsey, deciding he couldn't let the doc outdo him, also began eating the chocolates. Takeo, just stood back and watched them with an expression close to disdain.

"Dishonorable. Why couldn't they have been poisoned?" He muttered sourly.

Somehow the three men got into a chocolate-eating contest.

Dempsey was gulping them down, barely chewing. He spewed chocolate as he proclaimed, "I'll eat more candy than all of you motherfuckers!"

"Ohr noyo em ont er fhoim capertist!" Cried Nikolai, his mouth so full his speech was distorted. What he was trying to say was. 'Oh no you don't, fucking capitalist!"

Richtofen had so many in his mouth that, for once, he couldn't speak at all. His cheeks bulged outward like a chipmunk's and his eyes were alight with joy.

Samantha's voice came out of thin air. _"Oooh so zhey like zhe treats, huh? Vell, I bet zhey miss zhe puppets even more."_

"Little brat, I vill kill you for zhis!" Cried Richtofen once he finished chewing. He flung a handful of chocolate eggs through the air as he realized that Samantha was still in the 'game'.

Suddenly, all of the eggs disappeared off of the floor and the tell-tale round starting music filled the air.

"SHIT!" Yelled Dempsey, face smeared in brown. "I was actually enjoying that! Why the fuck can't that bitch go away?" He was madder 'en hell to loose the treats.

He realized he now had an M1911 clutched in his fist, as was usual on round one. One of the zombies came lumbering forward from a window nearby. It was mostly normal for a zombie, drenched in blood, flesh rotting, eyes glowing bright orange.

But it was...dressed in a ridiculous bunny outfit. Long, dangly ears off the head, fluffy fur outfit complete with paws on its feet and hands, and it was pink and white.

"I am really starting to hate this." Muttered Dempsey, wiping his face on his jacket sleeve.

Richtofen laughed outright at the zombie. "Zhat is zhe most beautiful zhing zhe doctor has ever seen!"

Samantha Giggled. _"Hehehehe. I want to play a game. Now, you must find the Easter Egg before my puppets kill you! Good luck!" _She laughed again, ending in a demonic howl.

Dempsey plunged his knife into the bunny zombie in anger. Blood flew and the infected died rather pitifully. More bunny zombies came for the next several rounds. They stayed in that room for a while, killing zombies even more quickly whenever they received power ups like Easta-Kill and Egg-Points.

When a few rounds had rolled by, they entered another room through a side door. It was pretty much the same, the only difference was that it was somewhat smaller. Here, was...Speed Cola and the mystery box. They also found Juggernog and Quick Revive.

Well, that's what they thought they were.

The Speed Cola machine was a pea-soup green color, its siding decorated with eggs, swirly-lines, and polka-dots.

Juggernog was a blush red with similar designs on it.

Quick Revive was an un-oxygenated, blood-color blue. Which was actually a pretty disturbing change that wasn't helped by the goofy decorations on it that matched the other two machines.

The mystery box looked fairly normal except for the fact that it was bright, bubble gum pink swirled with a gentle pastel blue. Its question marks were made of eggs and ribbons. It glowed with a greenish-yellow light.

Dempsey popped the question. "Well, who wants to go first?" For once he looked uneager to open the weapon's box.

"I wirr be first." Takeo declared, flipping the box lid.

The weapons circled amongst many strange-colored weapons, ending up on a Famas that was multicolored and plastered with confetti. "It may not look it, but dis weapon is fit for a warrior!" He said, pleased.

Richtofen shoved the Samurai aside and took his turn. He received a rainbow-colored RPK for his efforts.

"How unconventional, but I zhink I like it!"

Takeo went and fearlessly began buying perks for himself with Richtofen on his heels to do the same.

Nikolai went next, gaining an AUG happily. "Da, even with its dumb designs, Nikolai likes very much." It was a bright pink with bunnies all up an down the sides.

Tank muttered. "Don't say dumb, it makes y-"

Nikolai began to sing, "~There was a song that went a little like thissss. It had Wodka and...fuck. I forgot what I was singing, but it was definitely a classic."

Dempsey face was red with anger, which he took out on the box by punching the lid really hard before opening it. He received a Spectre that was, for some strange reason, pure white with no other coloring on it except the black outline of a hand flipping him off.

"Shit! Fuck box!" He bellowed.

He tried again and...got the teddy bear. Needless to say, he was not having a good day!

No longer stained in blood, it seemed to be coated in the brightest colors on the color spectrum. The place where the fabric of the teddy bear had been torn, it was bleeding pink cottony stuffing. Its normally black eyes were now pieces of hard red candy each that glowed as it caught the box's yellow light.

Samantha's laugh and giggle filled the air, turning more demonic before saying,_ "BYE, BYE!"_

"Ughhh. Great! This again!" Dempsey muttered sarcastically. The two stared at where the box had been for a moment before going for their own perks.

"That teddy bear looked like fifth wife." Murmured Nikolai before he belched really loud. Dempsey actually jumped.

* * *

They continued to kill zombies until round seven rolled around, unfortunately, and a heavy pink fog rolled into the room with a strange, dramatic, high trilling sound like a whistle.

Music began to play. Silly ridiculous music that was actually the chicken dance song.

_"Fetch me their souls!"_ Howled Samantha abruptly over the dorky music.

"Zhis song is annoying to me!" Cried Richtofen in irritation.

"Hey, it's kinda catchy!" Dempsey smiled.

Suddenly the air filled with confetti that seemed to come from nowhere(Maybe it just came from the ceiling though.) and piñatas spawned on strings dangling from the roof.

"I don't like this. First they take the candy, then there's dumb music and pink fog, and now there are large balls on the ceiling." Complained Nikolai in annoyance. He raised his AUG. "Fuck you, balls!" He growled as he began to shoot the closest one.

"NIKOLAI, NOOOOOOO!" Cried Richtofen in horror as the ball exploded in a burst of pink smoke.

The music continued to play as the ball crashed into the floor.

Where the ball had hit the ground, sat a bunny rabbit. It definitely wasn't normal as it was almost twice the size of a normal rabbit. Its rib bones jutted out of a bloody hide, it's eyes glowed a hideous orange and it had long fangs like a saber tooth tiger.

"That's just wrong, man." Muttered Dempsey, shaking his head. "That's just fuckin' w-!"

Richtofen screamed with laughter, drowning out his unconventional ally. His eyebrow twitched and he prepped his rainbow RPK for battle. "Ahahahaha...it's shooo cute. Und most likely very deadly." He finished quietly, aiming down his sights.

"I don't rike dat rabbit!" Growled Takeo, raising his Famas.

"Ughh, am I drunk, or am I seeing the cross between hell hound and bunny rabbit!?" The Russian said drunkenly.

The other balls began to explode in pink clouds, as well, filling the air with the smell of peppermint and bubble gum and a mist of pink.

Suddenly, large demon, hell bunnies were flying out of the pink fog, teeth bared and growling.

Most of them were wiped out from the first round of bullets flying.

Several tried to dive under Edward's gun as he fired, but he just kicked them back. "Zhis is so much easier zhan a bunch of flaming hell-dogs." He commented.

As more bunnies attacked, one hit Takeo in the face so hard, he fell over. The others looked over as they heard uncontrollable laughing. Takeo was holding the offender at arms reach.

"It is very small, very dangerous. Just like SMG's. It's also very funny." He chuckled.

Nikolai suddenly gasped in horror. "It took my wodka!" He cried. He chased after the bunny thief and killed it with his knife. "Good, you're safe wodka." He said, cradling the bottle in his arms and rocking it like a baby.

Dempsey fired his little Spectre(Which was doing very little damage. It seemed even weaker than a regular Spectre).

He yelled, "Oorah, motherfucking bunny-sacks! Good tar-" A group of rabbits plowed into him, making him collapse under a mound of fur and bone. Richtofen laughed as he mowed the rest coming at them down .

Dempsey somehow made it out of the pile and the few remaining devil-bunnies alive fled.

The fog dissipated as the round ended.

Afterwards, they exited through another door out onto a huge meadow full of multicolor flowers.

On the opposite side of the meadow was the world's largest egg. It was easily fifty feet tall, soaring into a wonderfully clear blue.

"I zhought I vould not like zhis Easter Egg, but zhe Doctor is enjoying zhis very much!" Richtofen squealed as his eyes landed on the giant egg.

Dempsey rolled his eyes. "I wish the author who makes up all this crap wasn't so bat-shit crazy!" He groaned.

The others stared at him, which he coolly ignored.

Dempsey called to the sky. "Alright little girl, we found your Eas-!"

_"You have to find vhat secret it holds! Did you zhink zhis game vould be easy?"_ Samantha giggled, finishing in a vicious snarl.

"There's always something more." Moaned Nikolai miserably.

"Let's get to dat egg, shall we?" Takeo asked, looking uncharacteristically like he was enjoying all of this.

They started across the meadow, frowning at the distance that seemed to barely lessen as they went.

"Ehhh I don't like meadow! It reminds me of second wedding!" Nikolai whined.

Suddenly they all saw another bunny. This time, though, it was normal-sized, pure white and shy, because it began to hop away.

"Oh no you don't little vermin!" Growled Richtofen, breaking into a run and chasing after it, a wild grin on his face. Apparently, he wasn't going to distinguish between regular bunnies and devil bunnies.

"Shit! Get back here doc!" Dempsey called and began jogging after the crazy Nazi. Nikolai and Takeo didn't see much point in getting left behind, so they also hurried after the others.

They chased the rabbit for a while. Then something not so fun happened. They fell into a hole in the ground and felt a weightless sensation for a little bit. They finally landed on a ground that looked very similar to the one they'd left, full of flowers and grass. It was obvious that they'd been placed on a different part of the map, though because they had been teleported here.

"I hate Alice!" Yelled Dempsey inexplicably, ripping grass and flowers out of the ground and throwing them.

Again the others stared at him for several minutes before looking away.

Richtofen looked up once he realized that there was a shadow over them. "Oh look! It seems zhat ve have made it to zhe egg!" He cried.

"Well. That could've been worse." Dempsey muttered.

"Look its the mystery box, da?" Nikolai pointed a small platform under the monstrous egg where the light shone into the air from the weapon box. They made their way toward it eagerly, noticing a panel on a podium nearby, and the pack-a-punch.

They reached the box and Dempsey instantly grew very angry.

A note on top of the box stated: _If the American tries to open me, he will be very disappointed. He should treat a box with respect and if he wishes to receive the gifts within in, then he must apologize._

"Guess that means me...I'm the only American around here." Dempsey muttered. "And I ain't apologizing to a fuckin' box!"

Meanwhile, Richtofen opened the box lid again, hoping beyond hope to receive a certain weapon. It must of been his birthday because the box gave him exactly what he wanted; the Wunderwaffe DG2.

Dempsey flung the box lid open, still angry at the note. He received a potato for his efforts. He began to curse out loud angrily as he threw the potato away.

Suddenly, several zombies showed up, moaning and howling. They were still wearing the bunny outfits, which really took away from the scary factor. Or maybe, it added to it in a way. They came running in from the field, around the egg, and even from the ground, unaware of their stupid looks.

Richtofen's first act was to hurry over to the little panel on the podium board under the egg and start messing around(Who knows why).

The other three stood shoulder to shoulder and unloaded their bullets on to the group of zombies. The zombies fell quickly before their ferocious assault.

Suddenly, Richtofen came back, the Wunderwaffe DG2 In his hands. The weapon was upgraded, so the doctor must have went over to the pack-a-punch He was grinning madly. He laughed as he fired it into the group of zombies. They died quickly and instantly from the lightning.

As the corpses lay in a fried pile of flesh, Richtofen murmured. "Zhe doctor is in...und now I zhink ve should finish zhis Easter Egg."

"How?" Dempsey wondered. "We have no ide-"

"Like zhis!" Richtofen screeched and turned toward the giant egg. He unleashed the power of the Wunderwaffe DG2 on it. The electricity danced all up and down the giant egg and Richtofen laughed crazily.

The egg cracked on top as the Wunderwaffe's lightning struck it. It began to split down the middle.

They others watched in wonder.

Dempsey gasped, "Holy sh-"

"Dis IS da grand secret!" Takeo said, his eyes streaming tears of joy down his tan face. He actually hugged Nikolai, who looked disgusted.

"I could do without, Takeo!" He exclaimed.

As the egg split apart, out came an avalanche of baby zombies, teddy bears and...would you believe it?...Richtofens.

"NOOOOOO!" Dempsey screamed, sitting up in his bed, covered in sweat. He laid back down after a moment of staring into darkness, hoping for better dreams.

He muttered. "Ah...shit...just a stupid shitty nightmare. Damn, too much game-time I think. No, it's a fourth-wall thing! Fuck. Curse Treyarch...and the author of this fanfic."

* * *

**The end of the Easter story!**

**Next holiday story will be Mother's Day! I'm gonna have so much fun with that!**

**Well, what'd you think? I didn't get a lot of feedback on the first chapter, but I'd like to know now if I did good job or not, go ahead and tell me! I'd be sooooo appreciative! **

**Until Mother's day!(Unless I missed a holiday in between now and Mother's day that I can't think of!)**


	3. Holiday of the Dead Part One: Mom?

Me - sorry Dempsey for that unusual amount of torture last story.  
Dempsey - Whatever... I guess.  
Me - well this chapter picks on you less, maybe...  
Dempsey - Really?  
Me - not sure...I guess...it kinda depends...on who your mother is...

*Dempsey faints*

Me - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY EVERYONE!

* * *

_**Summary - Our four zombie-slaying heroes were fighting the dead in Kino Der Toten...no surprise...**_

_**Unfotunately, the very people they least expected have come to rescue them from the zombies...their mothers.**_

* * *

**Holiday of the Dead Part One: Mom?**

The four soldiers dashed down the winding hallways of Kino Der Toten, moaning, rotten zombies hot on their heels. They would turn and occasionally fire on the beasts, but their weapons were running low on ammo and they were starting to feel the fatigue that followed all the chasing.

"Why am I always being chased everywhere I go by these freaks!" Hollered Dempsey as they rounded a corner.

"Und vhy are you alvays so annoying, American!" Richtofen shot back. "Quit crying! It's embarrassing."

The American gave the insane Nazi his best death glare that would have made most people faint.

They were on the stage now, with even more zombies pouring up the stairs from the theater chair rows and from the side rooms.

"This does not look good, like third wife!" Nikolai complained unhappily, swigging at his vodka.

"I will make the last stand of the three thousand look like amateur hour!" Takeo declared angrily, tossing aside his now-empty gun and pulling out his sword.

They raised their weapons, prepared to face the numerous hordes of beasts, even though the ammo was almost gone.

"YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" A high-pitched voice cried from somewhere unknown.

A tremendous blast of a thunder gun cannon exploded across the stage followed by the massive detonations of a hundred grenades being launched from a Mustang and Sally. The distinct alien sound of a Ray Gun provided more noise and lights along with extra eruptions of violence. More bullets, grenades and shockwaves whizzed along, whipping away the zombies and leaving the men glaring around in surprise.

"Wha...? Noisy, loud, deadly. It didn't even hurt. Why didn't that effect us, too?" Dempsey wondered aloud. "Fuck logic!"

"Who is that?" Nikolai pointed suddenly through the smoke at four figures approaching them.

They braced themselves, realizing that they were humans. Not zombies.

The first one through the fog was a tall woman with pure-white hair flowing down her shoulders like a cape and harsh, chipped eyes that burned a frosty blue. She had sure-footed elegant strides and a wild look to her face, as if it were part of an snow-capped mountain. She wore a long dress with knee-length boots, lace framed her wrists from the long sleeves and her moves were rather cat-like.

The second woman was a very short lady with tan skin, dark hair and deep brown eyes, with a contemplative look in them. She wore a tan coat and ceremonial leggings with calf-high boots. Her hair was pulled back with a bright pink hairband.

The third woman was the largest woman any of them had ever seen. She was broad in every sense of the word and you could have balanced a food tray on her rear while she was standing up. Her huge double chin wiggled with joy as she sung and garbled something unintelligible. She wore a large coat and jeans that looked ready to split.

The fourth and last woman was an eighty-seven year-old...but she was large as far as muscle tone. She had a white mop of hair spilling over her head wildly and her eyes were a cloudy blue. She wore a pink kitten-decorated tank top that exposed the muscles of a bear and shaded goggles raised up on her face.

All four men gaped.

Then they said in unison, "MOTHER!?"

They glared at each other.

"Ditto. Ahahahaha!" The Doctor yelled, then his face darkened as he remembered their predicament. He glanced at the four women again. Rather randomly, he shrieked in horror and turned to flee as the others glanced at each other in worry.

"Oh shit...I thought it couldn't get any worse," Nikolai mused, "Maybe if I drink enough." He gulped even more vodka.

Suddenly, the icy-eyed, white-haired woman sprang forward. She zipped through the men on the stage.

She reached for Dempsey's nostrils as she passed him, hooking them as fast as lighting. "BOOP! GOT YOUR NOSE! HAHA!" She screamed, yanking the unfortunate American forward and he stumbled and fell. He slammed down face-first on old floorboards, groaning in pain.

The woman ignored him and rushed after the fleeing Richtofen. "EDDDDDD! COME TO MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMAAAAAAAA!" She crooned.

"Nein, Mozher, stay back!" Richtofen panicked, glancing over his shoulder. The last thing he saw was bright eyes and a maniacal smile on a cold face. He screamed as his mother crashed into him with the force of a mac truck. She hugged him and kissed him as the sadists yelped and cried in absolute horror.

"SAVE ME!" He whined.

Meanwhile, Dempsey picked himself up from the floor as the muscular old lady with the goggles walked up to him. She smacked his shoulder playfully as soon as he was up, causing him to fall over again.

"Ah, son, what do you say?" She quizzed in a teasing voice.

"Happy Mother's Day...Mom." Dempsey muttered into the floor, grunting in pain.

The stage rumbled suddenly, causing him to glance up and see giant roll-woman sidle up to Nikolai, grinning. "Come on Nik. Give your mother a great, giant, Russian bear hug!" She exclaimed, fat jiggling.

"NO! OH SHIT!" Nikolai stumbled back, terrified. It was too late though. He was pulled into an extremely uncomfortable embrace by his mom. She squeezed the life out of the unfortunate drunk with her massive limbs. Somehow, he hung on to his vodka as his arms were pinned to his sides.

"Mother! I cannot BREATHE!" The drunken Russian gasped after a moment as his face turned blue.

Finally, she released him. He stumbled back, gasping desperately for oxygen. She looked him up and down for a moment. She stared at the bottle he still clutched in his hand, frowning. She lunged out faster than possible and snatched his vodka bottle.

Nikolai(mostly recovered) actually began to weep where he stood. "Give me bottle back!" He cried pitifully.

"I thought I told you to quit drinking." She scolded at him as he pouted.

"Yes, Mother."

She nodded in satisfaction and raised it to her large lips, chugging at the contents greedily, draining every last drop. Nikolai fell to his knees in horror, face white and pale. He then crawled about hopelessly on his hands and knees.

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyy..." He moaned bitterly, depressed.

His mother tossed the now-empty drink aside, wiping her lips and belching loudly. The massive theater seemed to shake with it. The noise drew looks from her companion mothers. Richtofen's mom, who was still hanging on to the unfortunate Nazi sadist, grinned up at the stage.

"Vunderbar!" She squealed. She stumbled as Richtofen finally managed to escape while she was distracted.

"MOZHER! I DIDN'T DO IT!" He shrieked angrily, defensive.

"Of course not!" Came the sarcastic response from the white-haired woman.

This whole time, Takeo sat quietly next to his mother, who was a full two feet shorter than him. They were sitting on some crates on the stage, and she had out a photo book, reminiscing at the pictures within.

"Oh, I remember that day. You brought us great honor." She stated proudly, giving her son a one-armed hug as she pointed to a picture of young Takeo holding up a severed cat tail. Takeo gave an embarrassed, proud smile, enjoying the praise.

"And that one, too." She said, pointing to a picture of Takeo hanging onto a tree limb with his legs, hands dangling below.

"And that...maybe not so much." She frowned grimly at a picture of Takeo stuffing his face with muffins, smiling gleefully.

The bad-ass, Japanese samurai hung his head in shame, dishonored. "I had no honor, mother." He self-pitied.

"It's fine." She laughed, clasping his back.

He glanced up in surprise. "It is?"

She laughed, "HAHA! Had you scared didn't I?"

Takeo stared in bewilderment at his mother. "Who are you?" He demanded.

"Your mother, Mama Masaki!" She proudly stated, knocking his hat off with the hilt of her katana. "Now let's go and see what all that belching's about."

"Honorless, they are." Takeo stated, collecting his hat from the floor as they stood up and approached the others.

Meanwhile, Dempsey's mother grasped his hand and yanked the Marine off of the floor with a "TA DA!" and he stumbled for a moment, head aching. His face was red where it had smacked the floor twice.

"OW! THAT FUCKIN' HURT!" He yelled as he rubbed his nose.

His mother swatted his rear with the force of a grenade, making the marine go flying and smashing into some crates where Takeo and his mother had just been sitting.

"Watch your language son!" She yelled after him.

Dempsey groaned, climbing out of the crate wreckage as dust fell out of his hair. "OW! FU- I mean, Yes, Mother..." He trailed off.

Nikolai sat under the turret on the stage, weeping bitterly for his one less extra bottle of vodka and now cradling a new one in his arms for comfort.

All of them heard Richtofen squealing in laughter and looked to see his mother tickling him and going, "GOTCHA! GOTCHA!"

He slapped at her hands but was steadily being driven back towards the stage and he kept shouting threats that were quickly laughed off.

He turned and bounded onto the stage, glaring at the others.

"STOP HER AT VONCE!" He ordered the others.

Tank was knocking wood chips out of his ear with his mother talking to him in a serious tone. Takeo was deep in conversation with Mama Masaki. Nikolai was moaning and clutching a bottle of his favorite drink while his mother stood next to him, patting him on the shoulder comfortingly.

"VERDAMMT!" Richtofen shouted in alarm as he ducked his incoming mother, who'd leapt at him. She landed in a crouch a few feet away, grinning.

"You are lucky zhe doctor's out of ammo!" He yelled at her.

Abruptly, she turned serious and looked to the others.

"Now what? I got him back up here." She informed lightly.

Everyone immediately stopped talking and glanced up at her. Even Nikolai quit crying and sat there, sniffing quietly.

"Ica, Now we PARTY!" Yelled Nikolai's mom to Richtofen's mom who's name was Ica. "With lots of wodka!"

Nikolai perked up. "Did you say, wodka?"

"Sure did, son."

"I'm in, definitely." He agreed, smiling and wiping his nose on his sleeve.

Ica glared angrily. "NEIN! We can't have a party, Rolla! Not with that Samantha."

"We just invite her, Hun." Said Mama Masaki calmly.

"Invite a demon?" Asked Takeo in horror.

"Sure, why not?"

"I feel you have lost your way." Her son sighed despondently.

Dempsey stepped forward. "Yeah, I don't wanna party with that little shit!" He staggered to a sudden blow in his head, making him collapse, unconscious, on the floor. His mother stared down at him, hand out where she'd struck him.

"Oh dear, I forget my own strength." She chuckled.

"Nice one, Vilo!" Chimed Rolla, clapping her chubby hands generously.

Suddenly, the sound of boards being pulled off a wall were heard, followed by a groan from a zombie.

"Now look what you've done, son!" Vilo chided the unmoving Marine, her son.

The four woman prepared for the coming fight by carefully fixing their weapons. Rolla hefted a Zeus Cannon. Ica carried the Mustang and Sally. Mama Masaki held a Ray Gun, and Vilo proudly displayed her China Lake as she lowered her black goggles over her eyes, like some creepy, white-haired clown.

The men backed up into a circle, frowning at their lack of ammo.

Mama Masaki said "Let the women work, boys!" She laughed.

They gathered around the men. "Ohhhh...I hate this!" Muttered Nikolai in depression. He drank more vodka slowly, trying to prepare for the incoming horde of monsters. Many zombies came rushing towards the group with an eager hunger for flesh.

He raised his FN FAL, rattling some bullets at the zombies, killing rarely and mostly knocking off body parts.

"HAH! Take that, arm!" He laughed. "I'll get the rest of him later..."

A Mustang and Sally decimated the horde easily, making blood rain along with a China Lake. The Zeus cannon and Ray Gun worked in the opposite direction, sending zombies flying into each other as they tumbled back. Shards of wood and ancient dust ravaged the air around them all, slicing up the musk and oxygen.

Takeo leapt forward as the dust cleared, intent on the enemy. But Mama Masaki had different ideas. She drew her katana and rushed past him, knocking him sideways so that he stumbled off balance for a few minutes. She leapt forward, slicing off four dead heads all at once, stabbing the next one coming forward with her blade in its groin.

"Should have watched your ass!" She yelled with a vulgarity that made her son cringe away. She ripped the zombie to pieces fiercely.

"She has lost her way." He pouted, falling to his knees in samurai grieving fashion.

"Get up!" She commanded.

"No!"

"Get up! Or we are going home!" Threatened Mama Masaki.

Takeo's eyes lit up. "You will?"

DONG!

Mama Masaki wacked her son with the flat blade of her katana in his head.

"I'm not yet ready, for the way of the women..." Takeo muttered, rubbing his scalp as he stood up. He and his mother surged towards another masse of zombies coming at them. They did a dance of death together with the olive-skinned, petite woman often stepping on her son's feet, and soon he started cursing in a very un-Takeo-like way.

The stage rumbled as Rolla went bouncing through it, her fat knocking most of the zombies out of the way. She tumbled and stumbled, but did more damage to her enemies than to herself.

"WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!" She laughed, jogging now and plowing through helpless undead Nazis. They screeched and tried to flee but there was just no where to escape and soon the others were dodging too, trying to stay out of her way. Dust and wood fell from the ceiling and the theater threatened to collapse in on itself from the abuse that the thousand pound woman was putting on it with her running.

Rolla began singing the Troika of Death(Whatever that is). Only when she ran out of breath five minutes later did she bring up her Cannon and fire on the zombies left. Abruptly, without even killing all the beasts, she gave up.

"Here!" She tossed the mighty weapon to Nikolai. She declared, "I'm going for a drink."

Nikolai fumbled with the weapon, staggering at the sudden burden on him. His mom carved a path through the walking corpses with her body, making for the lobby room.

"Shit!" He growled and took aim at the beast closing in on him. He fired. Nothing happened. His mother had tossed him an empty weapon!

He fumed in anger as the beasts closed in on him. A sudden explosion rattled him to his core and he screamed, covering his face as dust and wood flew up around him. All of the zombies that had surrounded him were now dead.

Vilo walked over, China Lake smoking with use and her goggles easily visible through it. She looked even crazier than usual.

"Say thank youuuu!" She laughed.

"Uhhhh...thank you?"

"No problem, jerk wad!" She said, clapping his shoulder and causing the Russian to stumble back. "You are adorable...you look just like your mother." She crowed.

"Ohhhhhh. This world isn't drunk enough for Nikolai...or maybe it's too drunk! No, that's not even possible." Nikolai argued to himself.

"Drunk! Haha! I never drink!"

Nikolai stared at the muscular woman in befuddlement.

"Wait...why didn't that hurt me?" He asked, pointing at the gun.

"Must be the fourth wall." She winked, though he could not see it under the goggles and wild hair.

"The wahhhhh?"

She ignored him and turned. She suddenly gave a war cry and plunged off to kill more undead with her fierce weapon. Nikolai shrugged to himself, deciding he didn't want to know about the fourth-wall. He also decided that if the mothers had come because of a drunken hallucination, he'd consider cutting back a shot or two on his vodka.

Consider. Probably not do.

At this time, Richtofen, who was on the other side of the stage, picked off heads with his Dragunov. Ica was behind him, and they were back-to-back. Richtofen hated it, but there wasn't much he could do. They both fired and killed until they ran out of ammo. "Neiiinnnn!" He screeched angrily.

His mother surged forward as the dead Nazis closed in on the doctor. Ica lunged out as fast as lighting with her blade, plowing through enemy after enemy. Sometimes tossing her knife into the air to catch it in her other hand and sometimes swirling her dress about as she danced through the enemy.

Every one of her hits landed to a cranium, skull, or jaw.

The Doctor, who could have taken some kills himself, just gaped at his blood-thirsty mom in surprise.

Suddenly, the zombies quit coming. The wave had ended.

"Zhat vas vunderbar!" Said Ica happily, wiping blood off her knife onto her dress.

The men stared in astonishment. The four moms had just wiped out a shit-ton of zombies without breaking a sweat. Well, all except Rolla, who'd finally come back without a single drink. Mostly because she couldn't find any.

"Nein! you can't have scored more headshots zhan me!" Protested Richtofen in disbelief, still gaping at Ica. She winked back.

"So, who was last place as far as killing?" Wondered Nikolai, chugging at his drink.

"GODAMMIT!" Yelled Dempsey as he pushed a zombie's body off of him, grunting in effort.

The others grinned at him. It was apparent the Marine had been unconscious through the entire fight and had finally awakened.

"I believe it vas Dempshey!" Laughed Richtofen with glee.

Dempsey leapt up and stomped over towards the German, seizing the front of his Nazi jacket.

"I will kill you! You shit-fucked son of a bitch!" He snarled. Just then a baseball bat smashed into his cranium and his eyes rolled up into his head as he blacked out once again.

"You cussed FOUR times, little ingrate!" Yelled Vilo, poised with her bat. Where she'd gotten it, no one knew.

Ica walked over, staring down in contempt at the unmoving form. Richtofen stared on hopefully and the others just seemed mildly curious. She stood over the American...and tea-bagged the still form of the Marine for a full ten seconds.

"Zhat's vhat you get for calling me a bitch." She declared, kicking him for good measure. She skipped over to Rolla and graced her with a hug.

"Now ve_ can_ party!" She yelped happily.

"With wodka!" Added Rolla, equally joyful.

Immediately, the four mothers went into the stands and started dragging up chairs and old wooden beams. They piled the haul in the center of the stage, clearing off the screen and crates in the way.

"Who has matches?" Vilo asked cheerfully.

"I do!" Ica replied, striking one and holding it up to the rotten chair in the pile nearby.

The match went out.

Ica let out curses that would have made even Dempsey blush.

She tried again with another match and finally lit the chair on fire, using it to catch the other junk in the pile.

"YAY! Now we have fire!" Spewed Rolla, clapping. "Now where's wodka?!"

"Right here!" Nikolai laughed, walking up with his bottle.

"Good son! I bet you don't remember the first time I let you try vodka! It was in the milk in your bottle!" She giggled as the others shot them questioning and somewhat concerned looks.

Nikolai cheered in agreement and passed over his bottle without question. He stood there a moment.

The chairs roared and the women began to sing an unknown song that really only women should sing and all of the men retreated to the back of the stage, even Nikolai who was waved off without getting any of the vodka he'd brought. Tank was still sprawled on the floor, in another world.

It went on for some time.

Then...

"Something approaches." Warned Takeo suddenly, glancing around keenly.

A blinding light filled the entire stage, making everyone but Dempsey(He was out of it) cover their eyes.

When they could focus their gazes, they gasped. Four men were laying, unconscious as Dempsey, on the floor near the turret.

Now it was the women's turns to be horrified.

* * *

**_The end! hope you enjoyed! To be continued! _**

**_Note- I will not be doing a story for Memorial Day for obvious reasons_** :|

_**Anyways, review and tell me what you think! Father's Day is next, so be on the lookout for that! **_

_**Next one will be called Holiday of the Dead Part Two: Dad? and is a follow-up to this one! See you then!**_

_**This is extremely open-ended! I will take requests if you want me to!**_


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